Sunday, October 14, 2007

I *heart* Buffalo New York

I've just come to the conclusion that I'm living on my own. I'm actually living on my own. I wake my self up everyday, I put myself to bed every night, I feed myself, I get myself places on time, I'm looking for a job on my own, I'm managing my own money. It's crazy. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. I just can't believe I'm actually doing it. I'm thinking back to last year at this time. I was so scared. So worried. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing. There was no plan. See, the thing is though, there's always a plan, God's plan, and that one worked for me. If you would've asked me about a year and a half ago where I would be at this time, I would've told you I would be at Parson's, studying fashion, living a fabulous life in one of the best cities in the world. Well, It's close. See if you would've asked me a year ago I would've started pulling my hair out and listening to Run Kid Run. (seriously, We've Only Just Begun got me through this time in my life) See, I didn't realize (though I should have, but I've never been the most organized) that you needed an Art portfolio to get into Parsons, I thought I would be submitting a Fashion Portfolio. I'm not a serious artist though, I'd love to be, but I never really pursued it. Don't get me wrong, I love art, I know all about it, a lot of people consider me 'artsy', but I don't sit around drawing still life and portraits and other things deemed necessary for a portfolio because apparently they show some skill other art forms don't. So I couldn't even apply to the 'school of my dreams'. Or I could've whipped up a portfolio in 2 months on top of school work, a job, youth group, etc. I however, enjoy getting a moderately good amount of sleep, and a low stress life.
So I'm here. In Buffalo New York. See the thing about Buffalo is, it's not as bad as people think.
Sure, our weather is awful, and our sports teams are cursed, there is absolutely no reason tourist would want to come here (other then cheaper hotel prices then actually staying in Niagara Falls) and oh yeah, we're the 2nd poorest city in the nation, but there's something about those of us that actually stay, it's like an unwritten bond; we're all moderately insane for living here and we accept that. It's for the most part, lived up to it's title of the city of good neighbors. Now, I'm really in Buffalo, see I grew up in a little bubble town suburb of Buffalo, I loved coming up to the city for art festivals and local boutique shopping, it had that city energy I always crave. Not a lot of it I'll admit, but you'd be surprised if you stayed here long enough. I've also been seeing a lot of hope for Buffalo lately, rumor has it we're finally developing the waterfront (tourists?) Someone just bought a bunch of the abandon buildings downtown and is fixing them up for stores and apartments. (yes, our downtown is basically abandoned, there is no life there unless there is a Sabres' game) We're taking in alot of refugees from wartorn countries (Did you know Buffalo's west side is the 2nd most diverse area in New York State, next to New York City?) Best of all, we're getting greener. Green roofs have been popping up, we also have and eco friendly dry cleaner, best of all, we have windmills, 8 of them, they're probably my favorite part of Buffalo, they were built on basically uninhabitable old factory land from Buffalo's steel days. I remember coming home from vacation this summer and looking out the plane window and seeing them right away, right on the lake like little tiny pinwheels stuck in the ground by a child, it was beautiful. Actually they were quite beautiful today as well, set against a little strip of pinkish sky peeking out from underneath looming gray clouds, as Lake Erie sparkled with sunset hues.
So, it's not New York, it's not the original plan, it's not what I dreamed of in High School, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Everything about this makes sense, the fact that I get to experience Buffalo on my own, like I never really have before, the fact that I'm getting a sweet financial aid deal and am going to school nearly for free (a lot better then $42,000 a year at Parsons) I can study abroad while I'm hear and take my senior year at FIT (basically just as good as Parsons, besides Tim Gunn isn't there anymore) I have more time to watch my baby sister grow up, and help my other younger sisters and my parents (and me as well) adjust to me being away and on my own. I know I wouldn't be this okay with everything in New York, I'd be losing it. Everything's working out, everything's relatively perfect. I don't even wonder 'what if?' I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, meeting the people I've been meeting, everything, and I'm staying in a really classy hotel, (college ran out of dorms, funny huh?) which is nice, I don't have to share a bathroom, I get free breakfast every morning (it's really nice too) I get to feel like I'm classy and rich. It's wonderful, it really is.



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