Thursday, November 8, 2007

As Promised: The Secret Lives of Drag Queens

Yes, I realize that I haven't updated/wrote in nearly 2 weeks, that my writings been sucking lately, that I have nothing interesting to say, and that this blog is lame.
I also promised you a moderately interesting story that I should have wrote 2 weeks ago when it was fresh in my mind.
So.... onto the secret lives of drag queens since I said that's what I write.
As you should know by now, I live in a hotel, living in a hotel means that every morning and nearly every night I eat in the hotel restaurant (it's really fantastic, because they put it on our college meal plan!) so naturally, after over 2 months of being here I have gotten to know the employees of the restaurant.
So a few days before Halloween, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my food. My R.A. had just arrived from shopping with an off duty waiter who she was good friends with. He is assumably homosexual and they go shopping together often so this was no surprise, I knew from speaking with her that their last outing involved him forcing her to by a little red dress and some sexy patent leather stilettos for her devil costume. This time she came back with fishnet thigh highs and a sequined pitchfork. She was showing them to me and one of the hosts, who is also assumably homosexual noticed and stopped by my table as well. Conversation goes as follows:
Host: oooo slutty
RA: it's for Halloween!
me: *giggles* (so not used to this guy not being completely professional)
Host: I wouldn't be surprised if (waiter)* had a pair of those
RA: Actually he went with me to buy them
Random Waitress: So that was him dropping you off, I thought it looked like his car
Host: I swear when (waiter)'s in a dress he thinks he's this big *holds up pinky* but he's not, he's always this big *holds hands out so as to gesture pudginess, this is often seen in little kids singing Christmas songs with the lyrics 'ho, ho, ho'*
me: *giggles uncontrollably* (once again not used to the waiters/hosts talking unprofessionally)
friend who I was dining with: Yo, Mandy, your face is bright red!
everyone: looks at me
RA: Oh, she's just not used to drag queens that's all
me: *giggles evermore while trying to be defensive about the fact that it was more about unprofessional conversation then anything, and not offend anyone in the process* (this is very challenging)
Host: ooo there was some in the paper this week! let me see if I can go find it.
me: *further explains my defense now that the host is gone*
RA: *explains she goes to the drag club sometimes on weekends* It's all gay guys and straight girls!
*host comes back*
Host: here it is!
RA: she looks like shes about to punch her
Host: she probably is
RA: *laughs* you know, I've never seen that one as a man
Host: that's probably a good thing
RA: *laughs*
me:*giggles some more*
Host: She's a lovely woman but she does not make a pretty man
RA: looks better as a woman?
Host: oh yes.

You think you know some people, then you realize you have no idea.... so remember, when you meet assumably gay waiters/hosts, they might just be drag queens. You know, you never really think of drag queens having actually jobs, putting on a suit and tie everyday and getting up to go to work. It's weird, but I suppose drag queens have to pay bills too.

Until next time,
Be Kind.


Mama Drama Jenny said...

Even drag queens have to pay the bills.

That needs to go on a t-shirt.


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