Conversations That Go On In My House

Taylor (16 Year Old Sister): *gives potential relationship advice*
Me: Seriously?
Taylor: What?
Me: It's weird that your trying to give me advice on this
Taylor: I know right?
Debbie (Stepmom): What's going on? Does Mandy have a boyfriend?
Me: WHAT?!?!!!!????? Noooooooooooooooo
Taylor: Yes!!!! well, no, but she will!!!
Debbie: What's his name?
Me: WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!!!??!! Really?!?!
Debbie: Well, don't you want a boyfriend?
Me: No... well... argh... seriously?
Debbie: Why don't you want a boyfriend?
Me: not right now, don't have time, I just can't cuz like um...
Debbie:...
Me: (frantically thinking of excuses) I don't have time for a boyfriend, I mean the poor boy, he'd have to deal with me being all "Um, actually I can't go out, I have to do this thing and that thing and that other thing, and tomorrow won't work either.. I think I might maybe be able to see you next thursday"
Debbie: Well he can go to all that stuff with you

SERIOUSLY?
*facepalm* I will never win this
No one in my family seems to understand the fact that I'm completely ok with being single at this point in my life
It's even worse when I go to grandma's house and get the "so, is there any young men in your life right now?"
oh family, you gotta love 'em right?

The Pinocchio Paradox

Think About It.

Have You Seen This?!?!

Words cannot describe how much this made me laugh

Emo Cow

Pretty funny in a stupid sort of way. Worth checking out if you know someone in the scene and don't mind swearing (this is the only one that didn't swear... haha and it WOULD be a dashboard lyric... not that I listen to Dashboard and would like know or anything... :p)
...and I just brought the IQ level of my blog down by like fifty points...

Bubble Wrap

I stopped home tonight to get my mail and received a wonderful joyous package in the mail!! Punk Goes Pop Volume II!!! YAY!!! (and also, Punk Goes Pop Volume I which was free with the pre-order of the aforementioned CD)I may possibly write a review on it and post it here soon, but I barely have time to breath let alone blog these days....

So I popped the CD in the computer and listened to it as I started/finished a discussion board post for my poetry class that was due at midnight (which naturally I submitted at 12:16) As you can probably tell by my procrastination habits, this was a very stressful hour of rushing to complete an educated sounding commentary on Keat's Ode to a Nightingale and Ode on a Grecian Urn. So after I completed my brilliant, masterful work of literary goodness I wanted to burn off a little of this stress, you know, cool off before reading the last 5 chapters of Wind in the Willows which according to my professor I might as well not show up for class tomorrow morning if I don't. So, I turn to an age old, simple and joyous stress reliever, something that had been tempting me all night, beautiful, translucent bubble wrap lying on my bed next to the opened CD wrappers and US Postal Service envelope. With much anticipation I pop the first bubble, no sound, must be a dud I consider. Second bubble, no avail, I am soon reduced to clawing at the bubble wrap, squeezing it as hard as I can, sitting on it, and of course, dropping my poetry textbook on it. Not the tiniest little popping noise!! I ask you dear readers, (if you even exist, which I question often) What's the point?!?!?!? (Don't you dare give me some smart-alack answer like "to protect the CD's from the abuse of the United States Postal Service" I swear I'm not in the mood)What on earth is the point of bubble wrap that does not pop? and what of the irony that encased within this pointless plastic was two CD's addressing the genre of 'pop'? Why has a classic form of stress relief failed me, in fact causing more stress? Why I'm I further procrastinating by blogging about something so ridiculous? Is this the future of bubble wrap?
The world may never know, but for now, virtual bubble wrap shall have to suffice.

What My Charlotte's Web Paper Would Look Like If It Was Written By My Roomate

So I have a paper due in approximately 9 hours and 8 minutes on Charlotte's web. Roomie thought she'd be a doll and do it for me, since I was oh so busy studying for the exam I have tomorrow, she also decided that she needed to adapt her language to make sure it sounded like I wrote it, when I asked her if she was writing it as if I wrote it or as if I spoke it, she just giggled. Upon sitting down at my computer, the following is what I discovered upon the screen:

Charlotte’s Web is an awesome story. Like totally awesome. Plus a PINK pig. I mean c’mon pink is like the coolest color ever. (If only other people felt that way, then the world would be a better place to live in.) But anyways, there’s this pig named Wilber who is like a runt. Fern’s father really wanted to kill Wilbur, but who could do that to a precious little piggy. I mean, I’m not going to touch one of those dirty things, but they’re pink. Why kill something pink?!?!? Anyways, Fern goes on a crying spree and like protects Wilbur from the axe. That is like so cute. I would protect my kitties from anything. They are so cuddly and cute. I love to pick up the baby kitties and pet them so much. Anyways, Wilbur becomes Fern’s new pet. She took him to school once (or was that just the movie), well he was a ruckus just trying to stay hidden inside her desk. He must go live at the Zuckerman’s farm. I mean it’s not that harsh because she still gets to see him like every day, but he’s not at home with her. I mean, like what if my kitties had to go live at another house. Oh noes, I would just cry a million tears. Like the time I broke my brush and ahhhh… so sad. I have to get a new one. Anyways, long story short. Wilbur becomes friends with a spider named Charlotte. Eww I hate spiders. If I see one, I call one of the boys to come down and kill it. Anyways, Charlotte wants people to really like Wilbur, so she writes “catch phrases” about Wilbur in her web. It’s so adorable. She like writes, or er sews? Words like “Radiant Pig” and “Some Pig”. Oh gosh. Everyone from everywhere comes to see this pig. Pig goes to fair. La did a do. The End.

(and yes, that was only in the movie)

words to think about

Mad Men

"The Future of Advertising"
I think this basically speaks for itself.

This is what I do with my life

Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just checked and I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts... You would not believe I spend all my time in front of a computer. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness..

I am not going to post now with any regularity, waiting for the onshore winds, just generally being asleep, dreaming and chancing to society in general, my day often feels wasted from midday to well after sun-down. I am not growing up. it will be fun fun fun till they take my TBird away.

I send you kisses although very chaste ones. Go with God, good friends. I will write more to certain yous; but it might not be you in particular who I write to.


I got this from The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator
because I'm a lazy blogger...
with a layout that hasn't been relevant to my life since December 07
I think I'm gonna go work on that now even though I'm not feeling inspired

wow, I'm really going to work on updating this more, but I just found something ridiculous
Basically it's a $50 manila folder.
yes I realize it's made out of a really cool fabric made out of plastic bottles but still, it's basically a $50 manila folder
But I guess if your dumb enough to by a MacBook air anorexic, (it doesn't even have a cd drive!!) you're dumb enough to by a $50 manila folder to put it in.

http://www.timbuk2.com/tb2/products/laptop/steve-sleeve/

As Promised: The Secret Lives of Drag Queens

Yes, I realize that I haven't updated/wrote in nearly 2 weeks, that my writings been sucking lately, that I have nothing interesting to say, and that this blog is lame.
I also promised you a moderately interesting story that I should have wrote 2 weeks ago when it was fresh in my mind.
So.... onto the secret lives of drag queens since I said that's what I write.
As you should know by now, I live in a hotel, living in a hotel means that every morning and nearly every night I eat in the hotel restaurant (it's really fantastic, because they put it on our college meal plan!) so naturally, after over 2 months of being here I have gotten to know the employees of the restaurant.
So a few days before Halloween, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my food. My R.A. had just arrived from shopping with an off duty waiter who she was good friends with. He is assumably homosexual and they go shopping together often so this was no surprise, I knew from speaking with her that their last outing involved him forcing her to by a little red dress and some sexy patent leather stilettos for her devil costume. This time she came back with fishnet thigh highs and a sequined pitchfork. She was showing them to me and one of the hosts, who is also assumably homosexual noticed and stopped by my table as well. Conversation goes as follows:
Host: oooo slutty
RA: it's for Halloween!
me: *giggles* (so not used to this guy not being completely professional)
Host: I wouldn't be surprised if (waiter)* had a pair of those
RA: Actually he went with me to buy them
Random Waitress: So that was him dropping you off, I thought it looked like his car
Host: I swear when (waiter)'s in a dress he thinks he's this big *holds up pinky* but he's not, he's always this big *holds hands out so as to gesture pudginess, this is often seen in little kids singing Christmas songs with the lyrics 'ho, ho, ho'*
me: *giggles uncontrollably* (once again not used to the waiters/hosts talking unprofessionally)
friend who I was dining with: Yo, Mandy, your face is bright red!
everyone: looks at me
RA: Oh, she's just not used to drag queens that's all
me: *giggles evermore while trying to be defensive about the fact that it was more about unprofessional conversation then anything, and not offend anyone in the process* (this is very challenging)
Host: ooo there was some in the paper this week! let me see if I can go find it.
me: *further explains my defense now that the host is gone*
RA: *explains she goes to the drag club sometimes on weekends* It's all gay guys and straight girls!
.....
*host comes back*
Host: here it is!
RA: she looks like shes about to punch her
Host: she probably is
RA: *laughs* you know, I've never seen that one as a man
Host: that's probably a good thing
RA: *laughs*
me:*giggles some more*
Host: She's a lovely woman but she does not make a pretty man
RA: looks better as a woman?
Host: oh yes.

You think you know some people, then you realize you have no idea.... so remember, when you meet assumably gay waiters/hosts, they might just be drag queens. You know, you never really think of drag queens having actually jobs, putting on a suit and tie everyday and getting up to go to work. It's weird, but I suppose drag queens have to pay bills too.

Until next time,
Be Kind.

Mood: Happy... no angry... um what?

Today I was walking and I saw a pigeon alongside the walkway picking at the ground as pigeon's tend to do. I first thought of a friend who once said 'Buffalo's not a real city because it doesn't have pigeons' or something along those lines, I really should write him and tell him Buffalo's a real city now. Then I noticed a huge bug on the side walk near the pigeon, by huge I mean roughly slightly larger than the pigeon's eye. Then the pigeon noticed said huge bug and got all startled, I swear it jumped back a little. It made me laugh. It was just such a human gesture, that's normally something you can expect from chimps, puppies and kittens maybe sometimes parakeets (but I think that's only because they can have the ability to speak). But you rarely see human like behavior in pigeons.
I am also strangely happy today, not that I'm depressed or anything, far from it, but I just had this great joy inside me today, the kind you get when you go to church camp and you feel filled with Christ's love, but a little different. Perhaps it was that my dear friend bought me a box of Disney Princess crayons, no, not the cheap 8 pack not even the 24 pack, she got me a 48 pack. I can't wait to use them to color in my Disney Princess colouring book. Maybe it's because some drama that I thought was going to go down never did. Maybe it's because the Dallas cowboys and their insane and quite drunk fans are no longer staying at my hotel.
Time for a side rant.
I'm not into football, hockey, yes, football, I could care less, too confusing, but from growing up in Buffalo and interacting with at least 1 man throughout my life, I have been able to conclude that; a. the Bills kind of suck and b. We hate the Dallas cowboys. This is understandable seeing as their from Texas (side note: This is not inclusive to all Texans, only stereotypical ones, I'm sure your all very nice people, and I don't stereotype generally, though Texas seems to fit the stereotype more often than not) So anyways, they were in the hotel all weekend, there was tons of cameras and fans and an autograph session and blocking off the doors and hogging the good parking spaces and acting drunk and unruly. This was mostly the fans. The hotel did feel it necessary though to give our student lounge to the football players. Resulting in some nasty dirty towels being left around and some unidentifiable sticky substance on the desk. To top it all off at approximately 2 am a quite drunk cowboys fan and a quite drunk bills fan decided to get into a drunken brawl resulting in the throwing of a fire extinguisher, resulting in a big explosion of smoky stuff, resulting in the 2nd fire alarm in 2 days to wake me up, this time since there was real smoke, I actually went outside instead of walking downstairs to make sure no one was screaming and proceeding back to my room, as is normal fire drill routine.
Hockey fans are so much better.
Well, Homework beckons... unfortunately.
Until we meet again (nonexistent) readers, peace and love.
<3Mandy