Conversations That Go On In My House

Taylor (16 Year Old Sister): *gives potential relationship advice*
Me: Seriously?
Taylor: What?
Me: It's weird that your trying to give me advice on this
Taylor: I know right?
Debbie (Stepmom): What's going on? Does Mandy have a boyfriend?
Me: WHAT?!?!!!!????? Noooooooooooooooo
Taylor: Yes!!!! well, no, but she will!!!
Debbie: What's his name?
Me: WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!!!??!! Really?!?!
Debbie: Well, don't you want a boyfriend?
Me: No... well... argh... seriously?
Debbie: Why don't you want a boyfriend?
Me: not right now, don't have time, I just can't cuz like um...
Debbie:...
Me: (frantically thinking of excuses) I don't have time for a boyfriend, I mean the poor boy, he'd have to deal with me being all "Um, actually I can't go out, I have to do this thing and that thing and that other thing, and tomorrow won't work either.. I think I might maybe be able to see you next thursday"
Debbie: Well he can go to all that stuff with you

SERIOUSLY?
*facepalm* I will never win this
No one in my family seems to understand the fact that I'm completely ok with being single at this point in my life
It's even worse when I go to grandma's house and get the "so, is there any young men in your life right now?"
oh family, you gotta love 'em right?

As Promised: The Secret Lives of Drag Queens

Yes, I realize that I haven't updated/wrote in nearly 2 weeks, that my writings been sucking lately, that I have nothing interesting to say, and that this blog is lame.
I also promised you a moderately interesting story that I should have wrote 2 weeks ago when it was fresh in my mind.
So.... onto the secret lives of drag queens since I said that's what I write.
As you should know by now, I live in a hotel, living in a hotel means that every morning and nearly every night I eat in the hotel restaurant (it's really fantastic, because they put it on our college meal plan!) so naturally, after over 2 months of being here I have gotten to know the employees of the restaurant.
So a few days before Halloween, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my food. My R.A. had just arrived from shopping with an off duty waiter who she was good friends with. He is assumably homosexual and they go shopping together often so this was no surprise, I knew from speaking with her that their last outing involved him forcing her to by a little red dress and some sexy patent leather stilettos for her devil costume. This time she came back with fishnet thigh highs and a sequined pitchfork. She was showing them to me and one of the hosts, who is also assumably homosexual noticed and stopped by my table as well. Conversation goes as follows:
Host: oooo slutty
RA: it's for Halloween!
me: *giggles* (so not used to this guy not being completely professional)
Host: I wouldn't be surprised if (waiter)* had a pair of those
RA: Actually he went with me to buy them
Random Waitress: So that was him dropping you off, I thought it looked like his car
Host: I swear when (waiter)'s in a dress he thinks he's this big *holds up pinky* but he's not, he's always this big *holds hands out so as to gesture pudginess, this is often seen in little kids singing Christmas songs with the lyrics 'ho, ho, ho'*
me: *giggles uncontrollably* (once again not used to the waiters/hosts talking unprofessionally)
friend who I was dining with: Yo, Mandy, your face is bright red!
everyone: looks at me
RA: Oh, she's just not used to drag queens that's all
me: *giggles evermore while trying to be defensive about the fact that it was more about unprofessional conversation then anything, and not offend anyone in the process* (this is very challenging)
Host: ooo there was some in the paper this week! let me see if I can go find it.
me: *further explains my defense now that the host is gone*
RA: *explains she goes to the drag club sometimes on weekends* It's all gay guys and straight girls!
.....
*host comes back*
Host: here it is!
RA: she looks like shes about to punch her
Host: she probably is
RA: *laughs* you know, I've never seen that one as a man
Host: that's probably a good thing
RA: *laughs*
me:*giggles some more*
Host: She's a lovely woman but she does not make a pretty man
RA: looks better as a woman?
Host: oh yes.

You think you know some people, then you realize you have no idea.... so remember, when you meet assumably gay waiters/hosts, they might just be drag queens. You know, you never really think of drag queens having actually jobs, putting on a suit and tie everyday and getting up to go to work. It's weird, but I suppose drag queens have to pay bills too.

Until next time,
Be Kind.

"I'ma hook you up"

One of my good friends has a new mission in life; to 'hook me up' apparently I need 'someone to keep me warm at night' I told her I'll turn up the heater. See, I really don't want a boyfriend right now. Is that so hard to believe? I'm not upset with her about it (though it is getting to the point where it's slightly annoying), after all she is, as she says doing it out of the 'goodness of her heart'. Honestly, I'm waiting around for prince charming, as ludicrous as that may sound, why settle for less? A lot of people go through life messing up in unhealthy relationships, or relationships that just don't fit right. I don't want to be that girl. The way I see it, is Prince Charming's definitely out there, and he's waiting for me too. I know at my age I'm obviously not ready for marriage, or any long term committed relationship, but when I'm ready, he'll be there, and he'll sweep me off my feet. It will be so beautiful. So why would I want to ruin that by going out with random guys who arn't prince charming? I strongly beleive that God has chosen my husband especially for me, and that God will reveal him to me when the time is right. It's like the superchic[k] song, Princes and Frogs (Underdog Mix), one of the lyrics is "the frog you've got seems cute enough to kiss/And maybe frogs seem like that's all there is/But just because you haven't found your prince yet/Doesn't mean you're still not a princess.And what if your prince comes riding in/While you're kissin' a frog what's he gonna think then/So look into his eyes/Are you a princess or a fly?" I want to be a princess. I mean how terribly romantic is that? Waiting, fighting against all desires and temptations, just to make sure that you fully belong to your prince charming? It's like a freaking Disney movie. Oh, I just love Disney movies, especially Beauty and the Beast... and Sleeping Beauty. Belle didn't date Gaston, even though he was a hottie (the handsomest guy in town) she waited for her prince charming, even if he was a beast at first. Aurora? She didn't even meet any men before Phillip. They all lived happily ever after. So why would I want to screw my fairy tale up by dating?